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Super Smash TV


Williams 1990

Super Nes




Woe to he who has not experienced the awesomeness that is Smash TV. I have very fond memories of playing this game in the arcades for what seemed like hours on end; in reality it was probably only a few minutes. For those of you who are too pathetic to have played this game before, Smash TV is an overhead shooter in the same vein as Robotron (in fact it was made by the same guy.) The similarities are more than superficial; The same double joystick control scheme is used, the same kill everything that moves and collect stuff gameplay, the same what-the-hell-is-going-on chaos ensues.

The game is set in a futuristic game show ala The Running Man where you and a friend get to blow tons of people away while collecting cash and prizes. Apparently there's a lot of people out of work in the future as the minute the show starts a huge angry mob of baseball carrying thugs charge you down. Later on you face robots, mines, "Mr. Shrapnel," and gigantic evil cybernetic monstrosities that eat fools like you for breakfast. In between blowing away wave after wave of slow moving, green-shirted, bald-headed fools you pick up bundles of cash, gold, toasters, etc. Damn this game is fun.

You are armed with an automatic rifle with unlimited ammo. Other powerups include the usual shields and speed up as well as different types of shots (grenades explode in a large radius, rockets that cut through a whole group of people, etc.) You're gonna need them too as the action never lets up for a second. Your best bet in usually is to keep moving and fire behind you as most of the bad guys will just line up behind you and get blown away. You clear each room and eventually reach the boss of the level. The bosses are extremely huge (They take up at least half of the screen) and very, very, very hard to kill. This was a quarter muncher after all so it's got that kill-them-but-make-them-think-they-can-pass-it-with-one-more-try thing going with it, you know, suck some more money out of you. Thus you will die and die often when facing the bosses, each who takes something like one thousand shots to kill or some other ridiculous number.

Graphics are nearly arcade perfect. I was surprised that the amount of blood and guts wasn't totally censored as this game came out when Nintendo were still whimps in that department. What has been taken out though is your character's death animation. In the arcade you would explode and various body parts (arms, legs, eyeballs, etc) would fly up at the screen. Here you just sort of spin around and fall over. However when the bad guys bite the dust blood and guts fly all over the place.

An excellent game, great sense of humor, challenging without being too hard, tough without being cheap (except for the boss battles, which are way too hard.) Any Super Nintendo collector who does not have this game is lame.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

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