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Magnavox 1978

Odyssey 2


It's 1978 and you work for Magnavox. You are charged with making three games for launch of the new Odyssey 2 game machine. They give you nine months and year's salary in advance to do this. Normally you would be motivated, but instead you blow all your money in Las Vegas and spend your time with prostitutes and cocaine. Suddenly the deadline approaches and you write three half-assed games on the computer in the mail room five minutes before the presentation meeting actually begins.

I'm sure it went something like that.

Anyway this was the pack in cart for the Odyssey 2. I suppose I had fun with it back in the day but you can't blame me, I was only six after all. Today I bust this game out and realize that yes, Mom was right, all those video games are going to rot your brain.

Speedway: You are a red car. You travel very fast on a straight road that has zero turns in it. Other cars that look just like you but are white fly down the highway like they're driving in reverse. In fact they are, because if you stop they will continue to crash right into you. Thing is the pattern is so easy that even me as a six year old was able to go the whole two minutes, after which it's game over and no reason to ever play again. Lame.

Spinout: This is the only game of the triple cart that comes anywhere close to being fun, and it's only fun if you're a six year old kid or have a lot of beer handy. You and a friend race each other with little blocky cars (red vs. blue) through several extremely simple mazes. One of them is a plain square while the "hard" one has a little twist in it. Pretty lame, until one of the cars overlaps the other car which will cause it to spin-out (hence, the title of the game.) This game can only be redeemed for adults by turning it into a drinking game, whoever gets spun-out on has to chug a beer. Even then it's still pretty lame.

Cryptologic: This segment is proof positive the cart was slapped together at the last minute. The "game" entails you typing in a word with the Odyssey 2's patheticly impossible to use keyboard, then the computer scrambles it up and player two has to unscramble it. I suppose player two has to go into the other room or something. There isn't even a one player mode, which is how you'll be playing it because anyone who busts this game out obviously doesn't have any friends. Oh, and lame.

Sad thing is as this was the pack in cart if you own an Odyssey 2 you probably already have it. I feel for you man.

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