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Squeeze Box


US Games 1982

Atari 2600


If ever you needed to see the reason why the video game market crashed in 1984 you need look no further than Squeeze Box. This has got to be the lamest load of crap ever.

You control a large and pretty good looking cartoon criminal type. The object of the "game," (if you can call this a game) is to shoot your way out of a room. The room is made up of multicolored wall segments that slowly close in on you. Yeah that's some fun shit.

It wouldn't be so bad if there was some like, excitement going on or something. Your character is large (like haf the screen) and animates well. But nothing in the game changes; the walls do not start to close in faster, you get no special power ups, no other characters or weapons appear, you don't even get to go to other rooms. There are no "levels," you don't clear a room and get to progress. Eventually the walls just close in, game over. But the only reason this happens is becasue you can actually only shoot the middle three rows; You big ass head gets in the way so you can't shoot the top row and the bottom two are situated below your gun that you can't even aim downward. And they released this piece of garbage like this. Utterly mindblowing.

Some people may buy this game becasue it's listed as "extrmemly rare" in various rarity lists and could actually be worth a little bit of moolah to the right people. Buy the game for resale value, but GOD FORBID you acutally put it into a 2600 console and play it.


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