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Game pad with ten really cheesy games

This is actually my own pic for a change.


THE RANT: I thought this thing would be another Famiclone but the games aren't old NES games, in fact I can't tell what system they're from. Some of the games have at least NES level graphics while others look like INTV games. They could be totally original, but I doubt it. Probably they are hacks of NES games but I don't know for sure. System is really simple, has two buttons (the red triangles are turbo) but only one of the games uses the second button. Controls easy enough, takes 4 AA batteries (no AC adapter hook-up.) Pretty simple unit that I got bored with in half an hour but what do you expect for $9.99.

THE GOOD: The unit is sturdy, easy to hook-up, and even has a little heft to it. Made of cheap materials but feels like it could take a beating. 

THE BAD: The games are terrible. Raceway is like a level of NES Spy Hunter (but with no weapons) that just loops over and over again. There are trees on the side of the road. One blue car occasionally passes by. Be careful or you might hit a rock.

Second is Submarine. This is the one that uses the "B" button. You can shoot torpedoes at surface ships or other subs. That's some playability.

Hungry worm is like Snake, commonly available on mobile phones.

Beat'em (what an imaginative name) is a translation of an old Mac game I used to have called Paratrooper where you're a turret shooting at paratroopers who pile up then kill you.

Snow Boarding is the exact same thing as Raceway except you're on a snowboard. You can't do tricks. All you do is dodge rocks.

You can guess what Paddle fun is. I didn't even try that one out.

Highway looked promising; it's a Frogger clone with a rabbit. There are even bonus items and power-ups on the map, but after beating it 15 times in a row I realized that there was only one level repeated over and over and over again. In fact, that's how all the games are, like they're just one level of a larger game chopped off and slapped into this machine.

Drop'em (another imaginative title) has you as a caveman (manual says you're a farmer but you wear a bearskin and have this big beard) dropping big rocks and horribly crushing cartoon mice that are trying to shelter themselves from the cold in little holes. It's always nice to have some animal cruelty in shitty games like these.

Boxing is probably the most pathetic game of them all; you are a boxer. You're limited to moving left, right, and punching. You can only throw one type of punch. That one's a winner.

The last (and probably best) is Balloon pop, which I actually had fun playing. The player is basically the main character from Bust-A-Move (even the same hat) but with a three step animation. You shoot balloons before they float away. Although this game had only one screen it actually had difficulty that increased as time went on. There were even power ups. I kind of had fun with it for a little while. 

Seriously all the games really suck. They look like some guy programmed them all in one afternoon.

There's no music, and all the games share the same (singular)  sound effect. CHEAP! 

THE UGLY: Don't buy this thing. Not even little kids will enjoy it.  I don't see it entertaining anyone but the most feeble minded of old people. Maybe some guy who's still fascinated by his new-fangled television picture box will be impressed. I've got half a mind to return it tomorrow. 


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